Sex and relationship advice from Robin Smyth

Or, as I like to call it, the Holy Grail of dream land! Invariably the most vivid of dreams, it’s been my experience that erotic dreams are generally cut short by a sudden wakefulness. Why?? I mean, sometimes the dream is just SO good it would be nice for once to be able to finish, am I right? And trying to fall back to sleep and rejoin the dream is about the biggest exercise in futility that I can think of.

Of course, there are many research streams available that can provide in-depth insight as to why your brain is conjuring up such smoldering images while you lay in innocent repose. My take on erotic dreams is that there is a little something missing from your life (nudge, nudge). Sometimes if it weren’t for a wildly random dream, this reporter wouldn’t be getting any action at all! TMI? Sorry! Moving on.

What I sometimes wrestle with is the co-star of my pornographic forays into dreamland. Must I really have wild abandoned visions of coworkers? Talk about an awkward day at the office the next morning. When I dream about an individual who is part of my normal life, that’s when I start to feel uncomfortable. Maybe the dream was fantastic, thank you, but I’d prefer not to have to make idle conversation with the person who I was just nakedly, sweatily entwined with a few short hours prior to my alarm going off.

I know I’m not alone in this experience, so I’d like to share some tips on dealing with it:

  • Whenever possible, call in sick! It can take a day or two for the rampant, rapacious images to fade away and we DO want to avoid a clumsy, deer in headlights, you-were-so-hot-last-night scenario at all costs.
  • If your dream included a person who is considered of higher rank on the corporate ladder, evasive maneuvers may be necessary. For instance, duck into an office when you see the object of your late night affection heading your way. Or, employ the tried and true “faux call” routine to deflect a desk drive-by.
  • Appear busy at all times. Avert your gaze, be uber busy and productive. Keep your head down and at no time should you attempt to engage your sex dream partner in conversation. Resort to a coughing fit of epic proportion as an escape tactic if necessary.
  • Discuss. Find a trusted coworker and share your dirty little secret, expect to be laughed at. Holding in a secret is never easy and the act of trying to internalize can serve only to amplify any feelings of discomfort and turn you into a hot wriggling mess of shame.
  • Find a project or tasks to process in a completely different area of your work space from your nocturnal paramour. If this is not possible, fake an illness and head straight home!

Robin Smyth has contributed to newsletters, business publications, inter-company webpages and blog sites. She has reported on multiple genres engaging a variety of styles and is known for her one draft, no edits style of writing. Follow her on Twitter @RobinDS3.