By Robin Smyth

In a recent commercial, Special K states that 97 per cent of women have negative thoughts about their bodies. Daily. Is there only three per cent of women out there feeling happy and comfortable in their own bodies?

If we, the 97 per cent, are all standing in front of mirrors bashing our bodies, how do we then turn around and exude confidence in the bedroom? It must be difficult to pull off confident and sexy if all we can think of is our perceived flaws. The things we tell ourselves, would we let others say to us? Doubtful. How do we stop the negative thoughts and turn on the confidence?

What if we forget all the stereotypes and the impossibly perfect images of people in entertainment and media. Or really look at ourselves, in the daylight, in the mirror, with only positive thoughts for company. Maybe try defending yourself from hurtful thoughts the way you would defend a friend.

Especially try looking at yourself through the eyes of your partner or perspective partner, the person who sees beyond merely physical attributes into the source of your true beauty.

Don’t be so busy trying to fit your package into someone else’s gift bag that you lose sight of who you really are. You are the sum total of your ancestors. A culmination of genealogy, of people whose faces and names you will never know but whose blood beats in your veins. Can you now draw a powerful sense of self from the fact that your body was made to order specifically for you from each and every family member who walked this Earth before you?

Imagine the unwavering courage it must have taken your great-grandparents to get through life. What manner of challenges were met and conquered on a daily basis? Were you once vikings, warriors, farmers, fishers, blacksmiths, dragoons or fear-nothing makers? Almost assuredly there was little time to stand before a reflective surface, wishing on a star for the perfect silhouette.

We must remember, it is not our physical selves that makes us sexy. It is the unshakeable self-confidence we possess, the way we carry our bodies, regardless of shape and size, which translates to an aura of sexiness.

Robin Smyth has contributed to newsletters, business publications, inter-company webpages and blog sites. She has reported on multiple genres engaging a variety of styles and is known for her one draft, no edits style of writing. Follow her on Twitter @RobinDS3.