Article by Rikki Dubois, artwork by Cris Hogarth

In June 2010, I decided it was time to stop living a life with the incorrect gender. The time had come for me to start my life as woman, the life that I should have had since I was born. In order to do this, some modifications to my body were necessary.

The first thing to be done was to adjust my hormones. I saw a doctor at the Trans Health Clinic and he prescribed estrogen and testosterone blockers. The wonderful thing that happened was that my body started to change. I started growing breasts and my hips started to get rounder and fuller. The thing about growing breasts when you’re not used to having them is that you tend to bang them everywhere, mostly on door jambs when you leave a room. And they HURT. The growing pains of puberty at its finest. At least I didn’t have to worry about acne like I did during my first go-around with puberty.

This went on for a year and I was quite happy with the way my body was changing. However, there was one more thing I had to do. It was time for the gender reassignment surgery, which I undertook in June 2011.

Ordinarily, I’m not a fan of removing things from my body if they still work. Don’t pull out my wisdom teeth unless there is an actual need. Don’t remove my appendix unless it’s on the verge of bursting. So when the time came to remove certain male body parts that were still in working order, I was a bit hesitant. However, the reason to remove them was greater than the need to keep them and since I’d spent 49 years disliking having a penis, I was ready to have this done in order to complete my transition.

I made the trip to Montreal and the wonderful doctors there worked their magic. They removed and discarded my scrotum, and my penis was inverted and reinserted to become the vaginal canal.  After six months of healing, my vagina looked as good as any woman’s. The breasts I have are beautiful. There was no need for breast augmentation surgery, because the hormones created them naturally.

I am now the woman that I should have been all my life. I am happy with how my body looks and when I look in the mirror, I think to myself, “Yes, I would date me.”

It took 50 years, but now I love myself.


Article by Rikki Dubois, a transgendered writer from Winnipeg. Her book Muffy was Fluffy helps children understand what it means to be transgendered. Order it today from McNally Robinson.

Cris Hogarth is an up and coming comic book illustrator. Follow them on Twitter, @MsElectricFlame.

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