By Tannis Kelm
It’s nice to take a time out of our busy lives to spend time with people who care. I like the relief of not being expected to be something other than lazy. Though it is hard to relax, when it happens, it seems it’s more likely to be with someone who understands. Family is a wonderful convention. As we grow, the dynamics change, but it’s of utmost importance that we have that feeling of home and connection. Humans are social creatures. Having someone around now and then is a comfort, especially if it’s with someone you can rely on.
We can’t pick our blood relations or primary caregivers; those are people we are thrust onto us and they play a big part in how we adapt through life. Not everyone has the luxury of a stable home life as they grow. In our formative years, being what they are, we may pick up some of that baggage along the way and have no idea because that was normal, it was seen and practiced everyday.
Sometimes you have to learn from bad habits instead of a good example. “I will never do that” becomes a mantra for the strong willed. It takes a realization of what is happening outside of that box before it occurs, however, and you have to admit you’ve been wrong and set forth change. It’s hard to humble yourself when all that ego is so defensive.
Trust is earned and when respect hasn’t been returned, it is difficult to forget. They say to love like your heart has never been broken, though it’s not that easy to get over. We’ve become an individualistic society, people withdrawing in fear or with hate. We are lacking the communication required to relate to each other, which doesn’t promote progress. We are the same as we have been through history, only now we have the technology to wipe the entire world out and we will, without unity, but that’s what people who start wars think as well. We don’t have to all think the same, but we have to start loving the same, a mutual respect. That shouldn’t even have to be mentioned.
Often times I feel very alone; sometimes you don’t want to tell people what is bothering you because it’s not light conversation, it’s no small talk; it’s uncomfortable and you don’t want to ostracize yourself any further away than you already feel. I’ve made some decisions that other people don’t agree with, but you can’t concern yourself with those opinions. Family accepts you for who you are and what you’ve done. No matter how alone you feel, you have to remember that there is someone else who has felt that and there is someone who’s life has been enhanced and influenced because you are you.
Every person we are in contact with reveals a little more of ourselves and what we ultimately want. To deny someone that freedom is cruel and it pushes us away from one another. You don’t have to like something because everyone else does, but you have to be flexible enough to allow people the same courtesy. We all need to be better family members, admit we make mistakes and not be too hard on others when they do the same. We’ve come to a point in history where we need to help each other out in order to sustain what is left for those born now to enjoy it, perpetuate the family for the love of it and the love in it.
I know you already know all this, but we all have to be reminded of it sometimes. So at this moment, consider me family.
Tannis Kelm is a singer/songwriter who performs under the name Hors. Find her on Facebook, Twitter , Sound Cloud, Tumblr, or her Gold Chair Sessions videos on YouTube. Tune in to CKUW 95.9FM in Winnipeg Tuesday nights at 11 p.m. for her show, Listening Pleasures.